Annals of Homeowner Stupidity (DIY Remodeler Division)

I bought the house I'm living in now last February; nice "rambler" (ranch)-style place, one owner since it was built in the '50s, one block from a decent 24-hour grocery store. All in all, pretty content.

Except for the kitchen, which apparently was remodeled by the children of the original homeowners when they inherited it and prepared it for sale. The original 1974 electric range, reset in the cheapest formica you can find; an exhaust hood so low that steam condenses on it and drips back down into the food; the heating register face-up on the floor right next to the cooktop; the fluorescent tube lights set into a drop ceiling. Gah.

At any rate, Tuesday morning I notice water dripping into the window. Outside, it's clear that there's a huge ice dam built up at an northwest-facing inside corner of the roof, with water running under the soffit and down the side of the house behind the aluminum siding (and don't get me started on that bit of stupidity). I go up in the crawlspace, and other than a small pile of snow on the insulation under one of the mushroom aerators, the insulation doesn't look completely useless.

First step: keep the water from soaking the window, and dripping into the sink. Solution: Funnel duck[1]-taped to the shade, drain hose attached, see illustration below.

Consulting with my friend Lester, who knows his way around building insulation, the clear indication is interior heat reaching the roof, causing melt, hence problem. Clued in, I remove the drop ceiling in the kitchen and poke my head up.

The blessed dears[2] had cut away fifteen inches of ceiling from the outside wall into the room, for a length of about ten feet. They cut the top four inches of the inside wall out, exposing both the wall studs and ceiling joists. Then they put in a six inch drop ceiling to mask their sin. Can't see it in the photo, but there's daylight visible to the right of that inset light fixture.

So: one pair of hedge shears, one roll 6.5in R19 unfaced batt insulation, and a half hour measuring, cutting, piecing together, and trying to get the drop ceiling tiles back into place. Hope this is the major cause, and the dripping will stop; it's 36F outside right now, so I won't know for a while. Even if that fixes it, I'll still probably have to pay somebody to steam off the hundreds of pounds of ice next spring, so it doesn't all melt back into the house.

Next summer, if my Tucson and St. Paul houses ever sell, maybe I'll be able to replace the kitchen with something in which one could actually use a funnel for its intended purpose in cooking, rather than to divert leaks.

[1] Not, in fact, "duct" as I had thought for years. That's another post.

[2] This is what's called a "euphemism". The actual term used, elided out of respect for the sensitive, was more pithy, though not particularly original.